Well 2009 didnt start off great for me. Id ended 2008 busting most of my roll. I managed to make some back in January, but my winrate just wasnt enough for me to live on. This was when I was playing .50/1 on Full Tilt. So I cashed out what I had left and started working more hours in the pub whilst looking for a job in accountancy (im part-qualified). To be honest any job searching I did was very half-hearted, I still felt I could make it at poker. So I spent most of my spare time studying the game, watching a ton of educational video's on cardrunners and pretty much just constantly thinking about poker and various situations.
After a month or two of studying and job hunting (I probably applied for 3 jobs at most), I borrowed $500 from my dad and deposited money into PKR for the 1st time. I spent a day playing 0.05/.10 to get used to the unique software and then proceeded to play .50/1. I spent pretty much the whole of March either playing poker or working. I had no social-life whatsoever. I made ~3k which at .50/1 is no mean feat. I cashed some out to pay my dad back and stuff, then after crushing some more moved upto 1/2 (very under-rolled for those stakes).
Since then my results have been ok, nothing special but solid enough. A couple of decent tournament cashes (17k profit, albeit not all my own action) have helped me get to the stage now of being comfortably rolled for 1/2. Admittedly my cash results havnt been as good as Id have hoped. My winrate is 12.5 BB's/100 over 45k hands, which whilst being 'acceptable', still isnt as high as Id like. I want to be at 15 bb's/100, although tbh I have no idea of the winrates of other regs on PKR, so 12.5 might be pretty good, but maybe they're all running at 20 bb's and Im the fish.
I also think my game as improved so much this year. I think about things completely different to how I did, yet I still have a long way to go. It's a comforting thought, knowing I still have so much more potential. I really feel 2010 is going to be a massive year for me. I just have to keep working really hard at my game and put the hours in. Im not going to set any monetary goals for next year, but Id like to get to the stage of playing mainly 2/4, whilst playing higher when games are good.
Happy new year everyone
Jamie
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Friday, 11 December 2009
Quick update
Well it appears the poker gods answered my prays. After my last blog post I went on to play a 10 hour session, making just over 1.3k. Since then Iv made about $600. Iv no idea why but Im really enjoying playing at the moment, even when results weren't very good. Iv played more hours so far this month then any of the past 3 months.
Merry xmas and all that bollocks
Merry xmas and all that bollocks
Praying to the poker gods
Im not a religious person in any way, but recently Iv been praying to the poker gods to ask for forgiveness. I dont know exactly what Iv done but they have it in for me at the moment. Maybe it's bcos they let me run good in one tournament. Since PKR live Im down about 2k, including about 1k down in ev. Im not naive enough to think Im just getting unlucky. Iv definitely been on the wrong end of some coolers and also tilted as a result, but Im obviously not playing that well, although the weird thing is I feel like I am, and Im bizarrely enjoying playing atm.
Iv spent a couple of hours going through hands but cant really see alot wrong, but Im sure there is. It's really frustrating that I cant figure out where Im going wrong. Maybe Im not and its just standard variance. Oh well Im sure as long as I keep thinking but my game, results will turn around.
If any1's interested my interview from PKR live is up on the PKR website. I really wasnt expecting it and came across so retarded.
Jamie
Iv spent a couple of hours going through hands but cant really see alot wrong, but Im sure there is. It's really frustrating that I cant figure out where Im going wrong. Maybe Im not and its just standard variance. Oh well Im sure as long as I keep thinking but my game, results will turn around.
If any1's interested my interview from PKR live is up on the PKR website. I really wasnt expecting it and came across so retarded.
Jamie
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
PKR live trip report
So the weekend started with us getting to the pkr party at about half 9 friday night where I met loadz ppl who Id played online with. Plus also some ppl who Id met b4. The place was pretty cool, with 5 bowling lanes, a games room, table tennis, karaoke room and most importantly...... a free bar!
Id decided before I went that I was going to completely abuse the free bar. I mean not to the extent that I would feel like death the following day, after all it was a big tourney for me. However that kinda went out the window pretty quick. After they chucked us out (at midnight! WTF) a few of us got a taxi to the empire casino. I actually felt like such a fish in this taxi as I shared it with some huge names from PKR;
pokey85 - High stakes player and a PKR team pro
dappadan - plays 5/10+ and finished 2nd in stars million this yr (i think)
Beyne - A russian guy who's won over 400k in tourneys this yr
1kevboy - Literally the best player on PKR, plays 25/50-100-200
kingand77 - meh
Some fat swedish guy - no idea who he was but seemed like a nice guy
Regular followers of this blog will know that me and casino's dont mix to well, especially whilst hammered and friday was no different. I dropped about 1k after losing 6 flips in a row on roulette. So after this I went to the bar and ended up talking to 1kevboy for about an hour about poker and other stuff. He's seriously one of the nicest guys Iv ever met. A lot of ppl who've have that kinda wealth/success when still young are complete wankers.
We left the casino at about 2am and I had no money at this point as id done it all at casino and id exceeded my daily limit plus I was wasted, so I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleeeeep. But kevboy persuaded me to stay out so me andy, beyne and kev went to some club in Leicester square, in which kev spent about £350 getting us all in and into the VIP area, which tbh was pretty shitty. I hated the club, it was just full of eyes and teeth if you catch my drift. I felt like I was gona get stabbed.
So after about 5 hrs drunken sleep we headed to loose cannon to play some pokers. A few cans of red bull and some pro plus perked me up for a few hrs but half way through the day I just wanted to sleep. If it wasnt for ppl having a % of me id have just played super agro to either get a huge stack, or bust out and go back to the hotel. Anyway despite not doing alot I managed to find myself in a good position with 25 people left. There was 20 places paid so I decided to try and take advantage of all the short stacks who just wanted to make the money. However they kept picking up hands vs me and after doubling a couple up I found myself nursing a short stack.
With 21 ppl left I shoved 7 big-blinds with AK utg and got snapped by my mate Jason (piratenation) with QQ. As soon as the bubble burst the days play would be over. It was like 1am and we'd been playing since 1pm so everyone in the room wanted me to bust so they could go home. Plus everyone still in wanted to make the money. Anyway the board ran out x x x x...........K! I fist pumped the King whilst everyone else groaned pmsl :)
The very next hand Jason opened the cut-off and I shoved from the BB with QQ. He insta-called me and I shit myself. I felt sure I was in trouble until he flipped JJ. I held and eventually made it through to day 2 with the chip-lead.
I started day 2 completely owning all the shorties. I played so fucking well imo. There was one bit of controversy when I knocked maur1ce out. He wasnt very happy with me. It had folded round to me on the button. I had a huge stack and had najammq (16bb's ish) in the sb and maur1ce (20 bb's ish) in the bb. It's such a great spot to open here, my hand doesnt even matter. Naj is capable of shoving pretty light in that spot if he had maybe less than 12bb's, and maur1ce was just a nitty old guy. So when its folded I open for just over a min-raise without looking at my cards. Maur1ce calls (with 99) and the flops 432. He now open shoves and im like 'i guess I should look at my cards now'. I look down and 42o and snap call, and take the nit's stack. That always makes me very happy :)
I made it to the final table as 2nd in chips. The chip leader was badboy579 and he sat across from me so I was happy he wasnt on my left. However the 3 players on my left bust pretty quick and this made it hard for me. badboy was able to take advantage of the shorties alot more than me as they were on his left and my right. Also, now he had position on me he was able to play back at me. I think I played the FT pretty well, maybe I could have opened a bit more but Im still happy. I ended up busting 3rd for 14.7k after I shove A4 from the button with 11bb/s and get snapped by AJ. I wanted badboy to go on and win as I think he played v well and was the best of my opponents on the final. Although I was very impressed with Vaswini as well. vd12345 ended up winning it so congrats to him. He was a really nice guy.
After I busted I got taken away by 2 models for a photo shoot then shoved in front of a tv camera and got interviewed by Ashley Hames. I wasnt really prepared for it so probably came across like a complete loser but w/e. Ill post some pics and the interview on here when it gets put up.
Hope your all running as well as me ;)
Jamie, aka bulletproofJ
Id decided before I went that I was going to completely abuse the free bar. I mean not to the extent that I would feel like death the following day, after all it was a big tourney for me. However that kinda went out the window pretty quick. After they chucked us out (at midnight! WTF) a few of us got a taxi to the empire casino. I actually felt like such a fish in this taxi as I shared it with some huge names from PKR;
pokey85 - High stakes player and a PKR team pro
dappadan - plays 5/10+ and finished 2nd in stars million this yr (i think)
Beyne - A russian guy who's won over 400k in tourneys this yr
1kevboy - Literally the best player on PKR, plays 25/50-100-200
kingand77 - meh
Some fat swedish guy - no idea who he was but seemed like a nice guy
Regular followers of this blog will know that me and casino's dont mix to well, especially whilst hammered and friday was no different. I dropped about 1k after losing 6 flips in a row on roulette. So after this I went to the bar and ended up talking to 1kevboy for about an hour about poker and other stuff. He's seriously one of the nicest guys Iv ever met. A lot of ppl who've have that kinda wealth/success when still young are complete wankers.
We left the casino at about 2am and I had no money at this point as id done it all at casino and id exceeded my daily limit plus I was wasted, so I just wanted to go back to the hotel and sleeeeep. But kevboy persuaded me to stay out so me andy, beyne and kev went to some club in Leicester square, in which kev spent about £350 getting us all in and into the VIP area, which tbh was pretty shitty. I hated the club, it was just full of eyes and teeth if you catch my drift. I felt like I was gona get stabbed.
So after about 5 hrs drunken sleep we headed to loose cannon to play some pokers. A few cans of red bull and some pro plus perked me up for a few hrs but half way through the day I just wanted to sleep. If it wasnt for ppl having a % of me id have just played super agro to either get a huge stack, or bust out and go back to the hotel. Anyway despite not doing alot I managed to find myself in a good position with 25 people left. There was 20 places paid so I decided to try and take advantage of all the short stacks who just wanted to make the money. However they kept picking up hands vs me and after doubling a couple up I found myself nursing a short stack.
With 21 ppl left I shoved 7 big-blinds with AK utg and got snapped by my mate Jason (piratenation) with QQ. As soon as the bubble burst the days play would be over. It was like 1am and we'd been playing since 1pm so everyone in the room wanted me to bust so they could go home. Plus everyone still in wanted to make the money. Anyway the board ran out x x x x...........K! I fist pumped the King whilst everyone else groaned pmsl :)
The very next hand Jason opened the cut-off and I shoved from the BB with QQ. He insta-called me and I shit myself. I felt sure I was in trouble until he flipped JJ. I held and eventually made it through to day 2 with the chip-lead.
I started day 2 completely owning all the shorties. I played so fucking well imo. There was one bit of controversy when I knocked maur1ce out. He wasnt very happy with me. It had folded round to me on the button. I had a huge stack and had najammq (16bb's ish) in the sb and maur1ce (20 bb's ish) in the bb. It's such a great spot to open here, my hand doesnt even matter. Naj is capable of shoving pretty light in that spot if he had maybe less than 12bb's, and maur1ce was just a nitty old guy. So when its folded I open for just over a min-raise without looking at my cards. Maur1ce calls (with 99) and the flops 432. He now open shoves and im like 'i guess I should look at my cards now'. I look down and 42o and snap call, and take the nit's stack. That always makes me very happy :)
I made it to the final table as 2nd in chips. The chip leader was badboy579 and he sat across from me so I was happy he wasnt on my left. However the 3 players on my left bust pretty quick and this made it hard for me. badboy was able to take advantage of the shorties alot more than me as they were on his left and my right. Also, now he had position on me he was able to play back at me. I think I played the FT pretty well, maybe I could have opened a bit more but Im still happy. I ended up busting 3rd for 14.7k after I shove A4 from the button with 11bb/s and get snapped by AJ. I wanted badboy to go on and win as I think he played v well and was the best of my opponents on the final. Although I was very impressed with Vaswini as well. vd12345 ended up winning it so congrats to him. He was a really nice guy.
After I busted I got taken away by 2 models for a photo shoot then shoved in front of a tv camera and got interviewed by Ashley Hames. I wasnt really prepared for it so probably came across like a complete loser but w/e. Ill post some pics and the interview on here when it gets put up.
Hope your all running as well as me ;)
Jamie, aka bulletproofJ
Sunday, 15 November 2009
No more moaning
The thing I hate most about talking to other poker players, is how much they moan about about everything (mentioning no names kingand77). They're either telling you about their latest 10 buy-in downswing or some bad beat they took vs some fish, and its so very fucking boring. Iv always told myself not to do these things because I realise that nobody, and I mean nobody, cares. Anyway Iv noticed that recently Iv let myself stoop to they're level and I hope I havnt bored you too much. If anyone still reads this then Im am very sorry. So from now on I will try to keep my moaning at a minimal, although as this is my poker blog I think Im entitled to inform you lovely people of certain changes in fortune they may occur in my poker life.
Anyway poker has actually been going quite well. Im up 2.1k in 8days which is always nice. I feel really good about my game, and have been grinding like a normal degenerate poker player. Well maybe not that much, but more than I usually do. Iv also been working on my game and been experimenting with a couple of things that I think can take my game to the next level and they have definitely been quite profitable so far. They're not exactly new concepts to me but are plays Iv never really used much before (at least for the correct reasons).
Finally got my holdem manager working again. Now, Im not exactly a computer genius, but nor am I a complete retard. I emailed their support and after about 15 emails back and forth (over the course of 3days) in which I tried doing a million things to my computer that they had told me to, it was still fucked, so I had a teamviewing session in which some guy half way across the world took control of my computer and fixed it. It took him less than 3 minutes and what he did had nothing to do with what they had been telling me to do. I mean wtf, it was so fucking simple, if they'd told me to do that in the first place it been so much easier.
Iv been watching the final table from the wsop main event. It does absolutely no justice for the 'poker is a game of skill not luck' argument when some retarded redneck can come runner up in the biggest poker tourney of the year. Congrats to Joe Cada though. He ran like god on the FT but I dont think he played that bad, as some people on the forums seem to think. He's surely a better ambassador for poker than Darvin 'ill go back to work even if I win $8.5 million' Moon. At least he'll donate some of it back to the poker economy.
Iv never understood why people who win loadz money like on the lottery or w/e go back to they're day job. It tilts the crap outa me when people say things like 'money cant buy you happiness' or 'money isnt everything' or 'Id get bored after a while if I had that much money'. If you ever say any of these things you should go die. You are a moron and have no friends. You need to get a fucking imagination.
Dont get me wrong, I agree that money ALONE will not bring you happiness, it will however give you freedom to do whatever the fuck you like which in turn should bring happiness (unless your the type of person who doesnt drink, gamble, smoke, eat junk food or get laid). There's so many awesome places you can go visit, and there's always some major sporting event to go to. And if sports not your thing then there's music gigs/festivals. There's always some amazing band playing in an amazing part of the world.
It's for the above reasons why I want to be able to make a decent living out of poker. Because I want the freedom to be able to do all of these things. So when I ship 40k at PKR live next week, me and Vikki are just gona go and travel the world.
Jamie
Wow this post makes me seem like a very angry person ha
Anyway poker has actually been going quite well. Im up 2.1k in 8days which is always nice. I feel really good about my game, and have been grinding like a normal degenerate poker player. Well maybe not that much, but more than I usually do. Iv also been working on my game and been experimenting with a couple of things that I think can take my game to the next level and they have definitely been quite profitable so far. They're not exactly new concepts to me but are plays Iv never really used much before (at least for the correct reasons).
Finally got my holdem manager working again. Now, Im not exactly a computer genius, but nor am I a complete retard. I emailed their support and after about 15 emails back and forth (over the course of 3days) in which I tried doing a million things to my computer that they had told me to, it was still fucked, so I had a teamviewing session in which some guy half way across the world took control of my computer and fixed it. It took him less than 3 minutes and what he did had nothing to do with what they had been telling me to do. I mean wtf, it was so fucking simple, if they'd told me to do that in the first place it been so much easier.
Iv been watching the final table from the wsop main event. It does absolutely no justice for the 'poker is a game of skill not luck' argument when some retarded redneck can come runner up in the biggest poker tourney of the year. Congrats to Joe Cada though. He ran like god on the FT but I dont think he played that bad, as some people on the forums seem to think. He's surely a better ambassador for poker than Darvin 'ill go back to work even if I win $8.5 million' Moon. At least he'll donate some of it back to the poker economy.
Iv never understood why people who win loadz money like on the lottery or w/e go back to they're day job. It tilts the crap outa me when people say things like 'money cant buy you happiness' or 'money isnt everything' or 'Id get bored after a while if I had that much money'. If you ever say any of these things you should go die. You are a moron and have no friends. You need to get a fucking imagination.
Dont get me wrong, I agree that money ALONE will not bring you happiness, it will however give you freedom to do whatever the fuck you like which in turn should bring happiness (unless your the type of person who doesnt drink, gamble, smoke, eat junk food or get laid). There's so many awesome places you can go visit, and there's always some major sporting event to go to. And if sports not your thing then there's music gigs/festivals. There's always some amazing band playing in an amazing part of the world.
It's for the above reasons why I want to be able to make a decent living out of poker. Because I want the freedom to be able to do all of these things. So when I ship 40k at PKR live next week, me and Vikki are just gona go and travel the world.
Jamie
Wow this post makes me seem like a very angry person ha
Thursday, 12 November 2009
Playing again
So after a couple of weeks of getting owned and donating about 2.7k to the poker community followed by a break I started playing again at the weekend. Pretty much broke even for a bit. I always find it takes me a few sessions to get back into it after not playing for a while. But the last couple of days have gone quite well and Im up about 1.5k ish. My holdem mangers fucked up for some reason so I dont know exact amounts.
Some of this money came from 1 fish who 5bet shoved with Q4 for 100bb's lol. Seriously what a donk. He's supposed to be a decent reg but wtf. I won with AK and owned him so obviously Im so much better than him. Haha Im only joking, he's actually one of the best regs on PKR but I know he reads this.
I got an email from PKR asking if I wanted to buy in direct to PKR live. Iv never been b4, but its supposed 2b pretty awesome so I decided Id go. But the $1000 buy-in's out of my comfort zone so Iv sold off some of my action. Im really looking forward to it, It'll be cool to actually meet people who Iv played 1000's hands with. And maybe ship the tourney for 40k as well :)
I took Vikki to London last week to see Oliver for her bday. It's the 1st west end show Iv been to and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Still dunno if Id wana go to see another one though. We stayed in an easyhotel (like easyjet) and the room was 6ft by 7ft (including bathroom) and had bright orange doors and walls lol. Luckily Im a dwarf so the room size didnt bother me.
Jamie
Some of this money came from 1 fish who 5bet shoved with Q4 for 100bb's lol. Seriously what a donk. He's supposed to be a decent reg but wtf. I won with AK and owned him so obviously Im so much better than him. Haha Im only joking, he's actually one of the best regs on PKR but I know he reads this.
I got an email from PKR asking if I wanted to buy in direct to PKR live. Iv never been b4, but its supposed 2b pretty awesome so I decided Id go. But the $1000 buy-in's out of my comfort zone so Iv sold off some of my action. Im really looking forward to it, It'll be cool to actually meet people who Iv played 1000's hands with. And maybe ship the tourney for 40k as well :)
I took Vikki to London last week to see Oliver for her bday. It's the 1st west end show Iv been to and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Still dunno if Id wana go to see another one though. We stayed in an easyhotel (like easyjet) and the room was 6ft by 7ft (including bathroom) and had bright orange doors and walls lol. Luckily Im a dwarf so the room size didnt bother me.
Jamie
Sunday, 25 October 2009
Some time off (again)
Since my last post Iv played a combined total of 112 hands in which Iv lost about $500. So Iv had a few days off from it, and tried not thinking about poker at all. That's the trouble with downswings, your probably not playing great and are probably not really wanting to play but your stuck a whole bunch so you feel like you have to play. This is what I was like a couple of weeks ago and I did play and it didnt go too well, so i felt that maybe some time off will help. Right now Im kinda thinking I wana play a bit so I might start a session after this blog.
Iv just read a blog from a high stakes player. He's a top player and he's obviously very intelligent and his post really made me think. Here's a chunk from it;
Well, since I last updated, a lot of shit has gone down – mostly me gaining back momentum, getting on a run, and then getting bludgeoned over and over. I finally was back on a roll until yesterday I played Isildur1 at 50/100 NL and 100/200 PLO, losing about $500k to him. I ran 400k under EV. I ran really, really bad. This is by far the worst losing day I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve never felt as much shock in my body as I felt during that match. It felt like I had just gone through a car crash. It bore down on me like an enormous mental weight, my body felt weak and tired, and my mind was too cloudy to couldn’t think of anything beyond the hands I was playing. I’ve never reacted that way to poker before. These last few months have been unfriendly, but yesterday the poker gods stretched my mouth wide open and took a huge and inglorious shit straight down my gullet.
So, since I’m a wannabe pseudo-intellectual, of course I have to rationalize this series of events. Poker sucks. I can’t run good. Randomness, variance simulations, survivorship bias, the people who tell the stories about poker are the people who've run good enough to seem to be worth listening to, blah blah blah. I want to write about that shit but who cares. Fuck that, fuck me. This is what I signed up for. Of all the hundreds of thousands of grinders who have tried to climb the mountain of poker, most of them have felt this moment before. Not everybody wins at poker, and for some the mountain is insurmountable.
I feel like it’s unfair. I look at the people around me who run good, who are rewarded for their efforts, for whom the good run and bad run come in equal shares, for whom their luck gives them room to breathe and remember the direction in which they’re climbing. I resent poker for pushing upon me this bad luck, even though I know the randomness must exist. I’ve seen the simulations, I’ve read the posts, I’ve even meditated on the idea countless times to myself. I’ve always known that if poker wanted to bury me, it could bury me so deep that I could never get out. I acknowledged the God of poker, and I’ve feared it, I have loved it. But I still put in my time. I still put in the hours playing, the hours studying, the hours coaching, the hours getting coached. I’ve done my share. I have been faithful, I have loved, and I have feared. I feel like it’s unfair.
This is what I feel.
But nevertheless, here I am. Buried. Buried so deep that I’d have to be the son of fucking God himself to get unburied. So since I am here in my grave, the only true way to unbury myself is to realize that there is no such thing as a grave unless one chooses to call it a grave. Where I am now is not a grave, nor is it above ground or anything in between. Where I am is where I am, it is my moment. From here, I begin to rebuild and reformulate. This is all there is. It’s time to start over. As much as I would like to think I am buried – as much as clinging to that idea makes me feel like what I have done in my past life defines me – I am not buried. I am here, I am alive; my hands and feet are alive. So I will climb.
That’s all I’m going to write in regards to that. Writing only does so much. I need to reset my mindset and reconstruct my narrative, and although writing can make it sound definite, it doesn't make it a part of my psyche. I guess what it'll take is time and work.
Anyways Im off to see what the poker gods have in store for me.
Jamie
Iv just read a blog from a high stakes player. He's a top player and he's obviously very intelligent and his post really made me think. Here's a chunk from it;
Well, since I last updated, a lot of shit has gone down – mostly me gaining back momentum, getting on a run, and then getting bludgeoned over and over. I finally was back on a roll until yesterday I played Isildur1 at 50/100 NL and 100/200 PLO, losing about $500k to him. I ran 400k under EV. I ran really, really bad. This is by far the worst losing day I’ve ever had in my life, and I’ve never felt as much shock in my body as I felt during that match. It felt like I had just gone through a car crash. It bore down on me like an enormous mental weight, my body felt weak and tired, and my mind was too cloudy to couldn’t think of anything beyond the hands I was playing. I’ve never reacted that way to poker before. These last few months have been unfriendly, but yesterday the poker gods stretched my mouth wide open and took a huge and inglorious shit straight down my gullet.
So, since I’m a wannabe pseudo-intellectual, of course I have to rationalize this series of events. Poker sucks. I can’t run good. Randomness, variance simulations, survivorship bias, the people who tell the stories about poker are the people who've run good enough to seem to be worth listening to, blah blah blah. I want to write about that shit but who cares. Fuck that, fuck me. This is what I signed up for. Of all the hundreds of thousands of grinders who have tried to climb the mountain of poker, most of them have felt this moment before. Not everybody wins at poker, and for some the mountain is insurmountable.
I feel like it’s unfair. I look at the people around me who run good, who are rewarded for their efforts, for whom the good run and bad run come in equal shares, for whom their luck gives them room to breathe and remember the direction in which they’re climbing. I resent poker for pushing upon me this bad luck, even though I know the randomness must exist. I’ve seen the simulations, I’ve read the posts, I’ve even meditated on the idea countless times to myself. I’ve always known that if poker wanted to bury me, it could bury me so deep that I could never get out. I acknowledged the God of poker, and I’ve feared it, I have loved it. But I still put in my time. I still put in the hours playing, the hours studying, the hours coaching, the hours getting coached. I’ve done my share. I have been faithful, I have loved, and I have feared. I feel like it’s unfair.
This is what I feel.
But nevertheless, here I am. Buried. Buried so deep that I’d have to be the son of fucking God himself to get unburied. So since I am here in my grave, the only true way to unbury myself is to realize that there is no such thing as a grave unless one chooses to call it a grave. Where I am now is not a grave, nor is it above ground or anything in between. Where I am is where I am, it is my moment. From here, I begin to rebuild and reformulate. This is all there is. It’s time to start over. As much as I would like to think I am buried – as much as clinging to that idea makes me feel like what I have done in my past life defines me – I am not buried. I am here, I am alive; my hands and feet are alive. So I will climb.
That’s all I’m going to write in regards to that. Writing only does so much. I need to reset my mindset and reconstruct my narrative, and although writing can make it sound definite, it doesn't make it a part of my psyche. I guess what it'll take is time and work.
Anyways Im off to see what the poker gods have in store for me.
Jamie
Monday, 19 October 2009
Variance
So my comeback continued for a couple of days, having a 1k day on friday, then making about $400 the weekend. I was uber confident that I was gona crush this week and make a bunch, but pkr has other ideas and decided it was time I started running bad again. These 2 hands happened straight after each other.
I 3bet a fish with QQ on the button vs cut-off open and get snapped called and then get it in on the flop for a $500 pot on K Q 10, and get shown J9 and obv cant boat up. Then i 3bet the same player with JJ get called and lose to QQ on QJ2. Then my last hand of the session I got it in with KK vs A10s after Iv 5bet shoved and lose at which point I started to break everything around me. By the way it really hurts when you punch a wall.
I think I know where Im going wrong.... not calling 3bets out of position with Jack fucking 9!!!!!!!!
And folding A10s to a 5bet must be terrible. Im obviously not on their level. I should ask these players for some lessons.
Fwiw the guy with A10s is a decent player and I like his 4bet with it vs me in that situation. Its a play I like doing in certain situations vs decent regs for various reasons but once Iv shoved he's getting about 1.8-1 and he's at best 30% vs my range so its such an easy fold, its not even close imo.
Im annoyed that I didnt quit alot earlier than I did. As a rule I usually quit if I get stuck by 2 buy-ins, but I felt like I was playing ok and not tilting. In hindsight I dont think that was the case and I probably gave away a ton of money. Ill go through my session in holdem manger when Iv calmed down a bit.
This is what really pisses me off. I really hate playing badly and giving money away unnecessarily. Getting coolered in set-up spots I can deal with. I know that in the long run the luck will even itself out in these spots. I can admit that overall Iv probably run above expectation the past couple months. Most poker players never admit that they've run good, they only ever run bad.
Might have a day off 2moro, ill see how I feel. Going to thorpe park fright night wed :) cannot wait for that. Then defo back to the grind thursday and try and crawl my way out of the hole Iv dug 2day.
I 3bet a fish with QQ on the button vs cut-off open and get snapped called and then get it in on the flop for a $500 pot on K Q 10, and get shown J9 and obv cant boat up. Then i 3bet the same player with JJ get called and lose to QQ on QJ2. Then my last hand of the session I got it in with KK vs A10s after Iv 5bet shoved and lose at which point I started to break everything around me. By the way it really hurts when you punch a wall.
I think I know where Im going wrong.... not calling 3bets out of position with Jack fucking 9!!!!!!!!
And folding A10s to a 5bet must be terrible. Im obviously not on their level. I should ask these players for some lessons.
Fwiw the guy with A10s is a decent player and I like his 4bet with it vs me in that situation. Its a play I like doing in certain situations vs decent regs for various reasons but once Iv shoved he's getting about 1.8-1 and he's at best 30% vs my range so its such an easy fold, its not even close imo.
Im annoyed that I didnt quit alot earlier than I did. As a rule I usually quit if I get stuck by 2 buy-ins, but I felt like I was playing ok and not tilting. In hindsight I dont think that was the case and I probably gave away a ton of money. Ill go through my session in holdem manger when Iv calmed down a bit.
This is what really pisses me off. I really hate playing badly and giving money away unnecessarily. Getting coolered in set-up spots I can deal with. I know that in the long run the luck will even itself out in these spots. I can admit that overall Iv probably run above expectation the past couple months. Most poker players never admit that they've run good, they only ever run bad.
Might have a day off 2moro, ill see how I feel. Going to thorpe park fright night wed :) cannot wait for that. Then defo back to the grind thursday and try and crawl my way out of the hole Iv dug 2day.
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Comeback
So my 1k downswing turned into about $1400. Obviously at this stage I was hating poker and doubting my game etc. So yesterday, after my 6th losing session out of 7, I spent a few hours going through hands on holdem manager to try and see exactly where I was going wrong. I managed to spot 2 things in particular that was costing me money, but in general alot of it was just pure variance which at times led to me tilting off some more. Im generally pretty good at not tilting or quitting a session when running bad so Im a bit annoyed at myself for this.
So after this I was super confident again and just wanted to play some poker which I hadnt wanted to for ages. The very next session I managed to book a $300 win and so far 2day Im up about $800. Its such a good feeling to be winning again albeit just after 2 sessions. Fingers crossed this is the start of a mega upswing.
Another thing that gave me back some confidence in my game was my winrate. Despite being on a $1400 downswing my win rate since I started using holdem manager is 21 BB/100 (for non-poker players, this means winning 21 big blinds per 100 hands). Ok so my sample size isnt that big but Id be super happy if my long term winrate (100k hands+) was 15BB/100.
Also my mate Andy is leaving 2moro to go travelling round Thailand so I wana wish him gl, and hope ya have a good time. If you have half as much fun as I did you'll love it.
Love you all
So after this I was super confident again and just wanted to play some poker which I hadnt wanted to for ages. The very next session I managed to book a $300 win and so far 2day Im up about $800. Its such a good feeling to be winning again albeit just after 2 sessions. Fingers crossed this is the start of a mega upswing.
Another thing that gave me back some confidence in my game was my winrate. Despite being on a $1400 downswing my win rate since I started using holdem manager is 21 BB/100 (for non-poker players, this means winning 21 big blinds per 100 hands). Ok so my sample size isnt that big but Id be super happy if my long term winrate (100k hands+) was 15BB/100.
Also my mate Andy is leaving 2moro to go travelling round Thailand so I wana wish him gl, and hope ya have a good time. If you have half as much fun as I did you'll love it.
Love you all
Friday, 9 October 2009
Bad times
Things have been a bit crappy lately. I had a good week last week making about 1.3k in 4 days b4 going away for the weekend. But this week Iv really struggled to put any hours in. I just cant get motivated to play, despite feeling like I was playing the best I ever have last week. I know I shouldnt play when not in the mood but I feel as though I HAVE to play so I have, and my results have been awful. Iv just played so fucking bad its unreal. Iv pretty much gave away 1k this week. I might as well have just lit money on fire. Iv never been able to put in like 60 hrs a week. I have the shortest attention span ever, and I just cant play long sessions. I get bored so easily. It's something I really wish I could change. Any ideas anyone??
Iv realised that I have absolutely no will power whatsoever. I been trying to change a couple of little things in my life, such as not eating so much crap (I seriously eat so unhealthy) but I just cant stop myself. Iv also been trying to spend less money because I just waste so much on nothing, especially when Iv had a good session/week. So what do I do? Go and eat out 4/5 times a week and get loads takeaways. Well done Jamie, very clever.
Iv also been trying to play more poker (yeh right) and only play 1/2 because Im not rolled for 2/4. But the gambler in me just cant resist playing higher. Iv even played some 5/10 this week because there were some big fish. Im such a donk. I just gona withdraw and leave myself 1.5k in my account and withdraw it when I get to 2k and start again, its the only way I can stop myself.
Iv also tried to stop gambling on things I dont have an edge such as roulette, fruit machines, blackjack etc. Iv seriously blown so much at casinos and PKR blackjack. Iv been doing pretty well for the most part, I havnt been to casino in months, disable blackjack on PKR, but I still have to go and chuck money away on the fruity when I go to the pub (which is basically everyday). Maybe its the flashing lights and sound effects ha.
Bye
Iv realised that I have absolutely no will power whatsoever. I been trying to change a couple of little things in my life, such as not eating so much crap (I seriously eat so unhealthy) but I just cant stop myself. Iv also been trying to spend less money because I just waste so much on nothing, especially when Iv had a good session/week. So what do I do? Go and eat out 4/5 times a week and get loads takeaways. Well done Jamie, very clever.
Iv also been trying to play more poker (yeh right) and only play 1/2 because Im not rolled for 2/4. But the gambler in me just cant resist playing higher. Iv even played some 5/10 this week because there were some big fish. Im such a donk. I just gona withdraw and leave myself 1.5k in my account and withdraw it when I get to 2k and start again, its the only way I can stop myself.
Iv also tried to stop gambling on things I dont have an edge such as roulette, fruit machines, blackjack etc. Iv seriously blown so much at casinos and PKR blackjack. Iv been doing pretty well for the most part, I havnt been to casino in months, disable blackjack on PKR, but I still have to go and chuck money away on the fruity when I go to the pub (which is basically everyday). Maybe its the flashing lights and sound effects ha.
Bye
Saturday, 26 September 2009
Should have stayed at home
Every now and then I get an urge to go play some live poker. And everytime I do, I regret it within a couple of hours. Tonight I went and played a £150 semi-freezout at big slick, pompey's new poker room. I played pretty well for the 1st couple of hours and then, as always, my concentration went. I couldnt think a hand through and I made terrible mistakes. I got lucky with about 22 people left (9 paid) when I got all-in pre with A8s vs AK and binked. After a break and some red bull I forced myself to concentrate. Then with 14 left I get 30k of my 50k stack in (blinds 1.5k-3k) with AA to lose to AK. Flop came down J62 and Im counting the pot...... Turn Q...... River 10. Then after a few steals Im back to about 45k when I shove utg with AQss and get called by AQdd and obv I lose, 2 off the money.
Losing in these spots doesnt really bother me that much anymore, that's poker. Both situations were 100% standard. What really bothers me is that Iv played for over 7 hours and not cashed. I just wish I had of busted earlier with A8 and then Id be in bed right now cuddled up with my beautiful girl. As it is its 4am and I feel like shit, but after 2 cans of red bull I really couldnt sleep right now. Even when there were about 18 people left I really just wanted to leave. Id have settled for my money back at that point just to be able to go, despite having an above average stack. Seriously Im never playing live poker again, not unless its a 1k+. And its not because I hate socialising or anything, they're some cool people there who I get on with.
Despite the £150 buy-in the standard was so fucking awful, I mean so so bad. There was 1 guy at my 1st table who didnt even know how to play, like at all. And late on in the tourney when blinds are at 1.5k-3k and the average stack is about 40k people are making it 10k. That is so fucking bad in tournament poker. I even saw people make it 4-5x big blind with 15BB's then fold to a shove.
Another thing that annoyed me is I got moved table and the 1st hand I made a 'unique' play and won a decent pot. And some of the regular players were kinda looking at each other and commenting how bad I am etc. I know that shouldnt bother me (in fact I can use it to my advantage), but it does. Especially when I see these people limp fold the button to a 6x shove. I dont think its an ego thing. I dont think Im some poker super-star, far from it. Ill happily admit that Im not a great player. I have loads of weakness's (which im working on). Fortunately there's a ton of worse players that make it profitable for me.
Havnt been playing much since my last post, Iv been feeling ill and not in the mood. Played the miniFTOPS main event and some PKR live sats but no good. Down about $500 maybe. Going to 'Love Albert rd day' 2moro which should be fun. Then need to start grinding again monday. Iv handed my notice in at the pub so Im now relying 100% on income from poker :O
Losing in these spots doesnt really bother me that much anymore, that's poker. Both situations were 100% standard. What really bothers me is that Iv played for over 7 hours and not cashed. I just wish I had of busted earlier with A8 and then Id be in bed right now cuddled up with my beautiful girl. As it is its 4am and I feel like shit, but after 2 cans of red bull I really couldnt sleep right now. Even when there were about 18 people left I really just wanted to leave. Id have settled for my money back at that point just to be able to go, despite having an above average stack. Seriously Im never playing live poker again, not unless its a 1k+. And its not because I hate socialising or anything, they're some cool people there who I get on with.
Despite the £150 buy-in the standard was so fucking awful, I mean so so bad. There was 1 guy at my 1st table who didnt even know how to play, like at all. And late on in the tourney when blinds are at 1.5k-3k and the average stack is about 40k people are making it 10k. That is so fucking bad in tournament poker. I even saw people make it 4-5x big blind with 15BB's then fold to a shove.
Another thing that annoyed me is I got moved table and the 1st hand I made a 'unique' play and won a decent pot. And some of the regular players were kinda looking at each other and commenting how bad I am etc. I know that shouldnt bother me (in fact I can use it to my advantage), but it does. Especially when I see these people limp fold the button to a 6x shove. I dont think its an ego thing. I dont think Im some poker super-star, far from it. Ill happily admit that Im not a great player. I have loads of weakness's (which im working on). Fortunately there's a ton of worse players that make it profitable for me.
Havnt been playing much since my last post, Iv been feeling ill and not in the mood. Played the miniFTOPS main event and some PKR live sats but no good. Down about $500 maybe. Going to 'Love Albert rd day' 2moro which should be fun. Then need to start grinding again monday. Iv handed my notice in at the pub so Im now relying 100% on income from poker :O
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
Inglourious Basterds and running good
The last couple of weeks have been going very well for me. Im up over 4k this month so far, pretty much all at 1/2. Strangely Im actually playing less 2/4 than I was. Iv always had poor bankroll management control but tbh Iv never really had much of a roll since I started playing. Iv always struggled to build my roll, partly because I always have to withdraw money and partly because Iv only ever had a marginal win rate. I feel that my game is the best its ever been, although that could be because Im running so far above expectation.
Anyways Iv never really got over 3k, and because of this I was always happy to play 2/4 to try and run good and build it up. This approach lead me to going broke a couple of times. Now Iv finally got a roll that is ok to be playing 1/2 with, I want to be more sensible. But if the 2/4 games are good I just cant resist. I think 30 buy-ins is fine to be playing most stakes, especially in games with lower variance which 1/2 on PKR defiantly are. Some poker players will say you need more than 30 BI's but thats just very nitty imo.
I finally got Holdem Manager set up on PKR. I used to use it on FT but since switching sites I havnt used it as its not compatible and you need to get another program which converts hand history's blah blah blah. Anyway my HUD still doesnt work but Im not that bothered. I think alot of players rely too much on HUD's. I used to swear by it but I think you can miss so many good spots because your just looking at stats. I just want it to track my results and make it easier to analyse my game. I may even post some screenshots here if I work out how to do it.
In other news Im going to play pool for the brewers. Iv always played for my local pub but decided I need a new challenge. Although my team's easily in the top 10 in Pompey, the brewers are a bit better plus with me I think they'll be maybe the best team in Pompey. That might sound a bit big headed, but Im pretty awesome at pool. I know most of the lads and I think Ill enjoy it more which is ultimately what its all about.
Saw inglourious basterds tonight and it was easily the best film Iv seen this year. Quentin Tarantino is an absolute genius and, if possible, underrated. If you havnt seen it yet, I highly recommend it you do.
Gl to manic boy in the HORSE ftops 2nite as I have 50%. Be nice to make some money whilst asleep lol
Anyways Iv never really got over 3k, and because of this I was always happy to play 2/4 to try and run good and build it up. This approach lead me to going broke a couple of times. Now Iv finally got a roll that is ok to be playing 1/2 with, I want to be more sensible. But if the 2/4 games are good I just cant resist. I think 30 buy-ins is fine to be playing most stakes, especially in games with lower variance which 1/2 on PKR defiantly are. Some poker players will say you need more than 30 BI's but thats just very nitty imo.
I finally got Holdem Manager set up on PKR. I used to use it on FT but since switching sites I havnt used it as its not compatible and you need to get another program which converts hand history's blah blah blah. Anyway my HUD still doesnt work but Im not that bothered. I think alot of players rely too much on HUD's. I used to swear by it but I think you can miss so many good spots because your just looking at stats. I just want it to track my results and make it easier to analyse my game. I may even post some screenshots here if I work out how to do it.
In other news Im going to play pool for the brewers. Iv always played for my local pub but decided I need a new challenge. Although my team's easily in the top 10 in Pompey, the brewers are a bit better plus with me I think they'll be maybe the best team in Pompey. That might sound a bit big headed, but Im pretty awesome at pool. I know most of the lads and I think Ill enjoy it more which is ultimately what its all about.
Saw inglourious basterds tonight and it was easily the best film Iv seen this year. Quentin Tarantino is an absolute genius and, if possible, underrated. If you havnt seen it yet, I highly recommend it you do.
Gl to manic boy in the HORSE ftops 2nite as I have 50%. Be nice to make some money whilst asleep lol
Thursday, 10 September 2009
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
A couple of people who read my last blog have spoke to me about it and were like 'How can you be so annoyed at winning $400?'. The thing is, I want to be an great poker player and play as near to perfect as my brain will let me. I hate making mistakes, especially one's that are so easily avoided. Iv been playing over a year now and feel like its time to step up a level, that iv served my apprenticeship in poker if you like. Iv built up decent fundamentals and a game that can make an ok living. But thats not enough, not by a long way. Dont get me wrong, $400 is a decent win, id be super happy to make that every session obv.
I think im an intelligent person, probably more so than most 2/4, 3/6 and 5/10 regs imvho. So in theory if I apply myself correctly, analyse and think about my game, cut out silly mistakes and focus then I should be able to be a decent winner eventually in those games right? I think its a safe assumption that poker ability has a direct correlation with intellect, albeit with a few anomalies.
Anyways Iv had a couple of good days at the pokers. My roll was at $2800 2days ago and is now $5150. That includes my rakeback which was about $400. Im writing this from gunwharf whilst on a break. I started out 2day 1 tabling (because I was eating) 2/4 with 3 HUGH fish. Managed to run my $400 stack upto $1500 and then also win a bit on some other tables. Currently up about 1.3k. Running pretty hot atm which is always nice.
I think im an intelligent person, probably more so than most 2/4, 3/6 and 5/10 regs imvho. So in theory if I apply myself correctly, analyse and think about my game, cut out silly mistakes and focus then I should be able to be a decent winner eventually in those games right? I think its a safe assumption that poker ability has a direct correlation with intellect, albeit with a few anomalies.
Anyways Iv had a couple of good days at the pokers. My roll was at $2800 2days ago and is now $5150. That includes my rakeback which was about $400. Im writing this from gunwharf whilst on a break. I started out 2day 1 tabling (because I was eating) 2/4 with 3 HUGH fish. Managed to run my $400 stack upto $1500 and then also win a bit on some other tables. Currently up about 1.3k. Running pretty hot atm which is always nice.
Bittersweet
Iv just finished a session in which I made about $450. And yet im really pissed off with myself. I felt like I was playing really well, seeing good spots, value betting thin, reading peoples hands etc and I was up over $800. And then I lost about $350 in 3 hands simultaneously. In all of these hands I made horrible mistakes, making a terrible bluff, and calling off in spots when I KNOW im beat. As my mouse hovers over the call button I know its the wrong move and yet I still fucking click it.... WHY??!!!!!?? Because im a fucking donk.
One-way ticket to retardville for me!!!
One-way ticket to retardville for me!!!
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Quick Update
My bankroll has been hovering around the $3500 mark for the last week until 2day where i dropped a few buy ins in about 400 hands in some really sick spots, so down to $2800ish. Still havnt had my August rakeback yet so that'll boost it back up a bit. Im really tilted right now so not gona play for rest of the day. Its a vicious circle when you have a bad session. You lose some money and you just want to play and win it back, but your in a poor mindset so you cant. Im going to go out now and have few drinks then out bowling 2nite and not think about poker and hopefully be refreshed to play lots 2moro.
Jamie
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
What a turn-around
After my masters cash, I withdraw some leaving me 2k. I was down to $1600 at one point but now upto $3340. Im also due my August rakeback anytime now which I expect to be around $500. It's nice to be winning at the cash tables again after a mini downswing. Its such a massive turn-around from how I felt just before my masters cash. Im still playing mostly 1/2 with a bit of 2/4 mixed in. I still dont feel comfortably playing 2/4 at the moment. My roll just isnt big enough and its just poor bankroll management. Iv played three 1k+ pots in the past few days (winning 2). Everytime the money went in on the flop meaning there's more cards to come. Even getting money in as a 70% favourite, you still have to dodge a lot of cards and when the pots are so big its very nerve-racking. But if I had a big roll it wouldn't effect me much. Like at 1/2, Im completely happy putting all my money in the middle in marginal situations if I think its the right play.
Iv been thinking about how sick the money in poker is compared to real life. A standard pot at 2/4 might go something like this. I open to $14, the button call as does the big blind. I make a continuation bet of say $35 on the flop and get 1 caller. So far the pots $114 and this is a completely normal situation. Now if I decide to bluff or value bet the turn with a bet of maybe $73 and get called the pots $260. Thats a weeks wages to some people. And yet in poker you can win or lose that (or alot more) on the turn of a card. It's such a sick world.
Gl at the tables poker players, and gl in life everyone else
Iv been thinking about how sick the money in poker is compared to real life. A standard pot at 2/4 might go something like this. I open to $14, the button call as does the big blind. I make a continuation bet of say $35 on the flop and get 1 caller. So far the pots $114 and this is a completely normal situation. Now if I decide to bluff or value bet the turn with a bet of maybe $73 and get called the pots $260. Thats a weeks wages to some people. And yet in poker you can win or lose that (or alot more) on the turn of a card. It's such a sick world.
Gl at the tables poker players, and gl in life everyone else
Sunday, 30 August 2009
So Close
So I played the $270 masters and managed to finish 7th out of nearly 500 players for a $3650 payday. I have to give 25% of that away as I sold some percentages to some mates. The standard on the final table was terrible, unfortunately I didnt have many chips to play with and was card dead or else I think Id have dominated the table and taken the 29k 1st place. That's the sick thing, Im disappointed to have only won 3.6k. Ok so thats alot of money, but $29000 is life changing and it would have enable me to play higher stakes.
Here's the thing. Poker hadnt been going too well. Id run my 1.1k roll upto bout 1.6 then in bout an hour was down to 400 haha. Was a combination of running shit and making silly mistakes. At this point I was very down. I actually decided to just cash out the $400 I had left and take a break from it. Maybe even quit for good (probably not, just how I felt at the time). This happened during the early stages of the masters.
I was talking to andy on msn and he offered to stake me. He'd give me 4k and take a percentage of my winnings and if i lost i owe him nothing. This meant alot to me bcos not only was it a lifeline for me, it gives me confidence in my own game. He wouldnt stake me if I wasnt good enough. Although he was doing this to make money I really appreciate it so thanks mate.
So I went from on the brink of quitting to being super happy and confident. I dont believe in fate or destiny or anything like that, but I do believe you have to take your chances in life. Iv been given another chance, and Im going to take it.
As for my challenge, bollocks to it. Im just gona play lots and see what happens.
Love you all
Ps. A big thank you to my awesome gf for working my shift last night. Love ya xx
Here's the thing. Poker hadnt been going too well. Id run my 1.1k roll upto bout 1.6 then in bout an hour was down to 400 haha. Was a combination of running shit and making silly mistakes. At this point I was very down. I actually decided to just cash out the $400 I had left and take a break from it. Maybe even quit for good (probably not, just how I felt at the time). This happened during the early stages of the masters.
I was talking to andy on msn and he offered to stake me. He'd give me 4k and take a percentage of my winnings and if i lost i owe him nothing. This meant alot to me bcos not only was it a lifeline for me, it gives me confidence in my own game. He wouldnt stake me if I wasnt good enough. Although he was doing this to make money I really appreciate it so thanks mate.
So I went from on the brink of quitting to being super happy and confident. I dont believe in fate or destiny or anything like that, but I do believe you have to take your chances in life. Iv been given another chance, and Im going to take it.
As for my challenge, bollocks to it. Im just gona play lots and see what happens.
Love you all
Ps. A big thank you to my awesome gf for working my shift last night. Love ya xx
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Sad :(
Had a pretty shit week poker wise. Just cant seem to get anything going atm. Running bad plus not playing that well either. Everytime I start to win a bit I lose a couple of big pots. Its so fucking annoying. Bankroll at $1130. Playing the $270 PKR masters 2nite for free as Im using my PKR points, so hopefully run good in that.
Its just so frustrating. I so badly want to move up and start making some serious money so I can just travel with my laptop and go see all the cool places in the world, and do all the cool stuff. Maybe im wrong but I really feel my game is good enough. I just need to concentrate a bit more and grind it out. It makes me so sad to be stuck in this shitty country full of chavs, foreigners, and general scumbags, when there's so many amazing places out there to visit.
Come on Jamie, sort it out !!!!
Its just so frustrating. I so badly want to move up and start making some serious money so I can just travel with my laptop and go see all the cool places in the world, and do all the cool stuff. Maybe im wrong but I really feel my game is good enough. I just need to concentrate a bit more and grind it out. It makes me so sad to be stuck in this shitty country full of chavs, foreigners, and general scumbags, when there's so many amazing places out there to visit.
Come on Jamie, sort it out !!!!
Monday, 24 August 2009
Restart challenge?
Since my last blog things have been a bit swingy for me. I played about 7 hrs total on friday and finished the day $360 up although was up over $800 at one point. So my roll was upto $2070, but had been over the 2.5k mark. On saturday I went round andy's to play. He was playing the $530 big shot on PKR, so I ignored all bankroll management logic and decided to play as well. We swapped 20% cos he runs v good in tourneys ;) and I sold 10% to a mate.
Despite getting an early chip lead I didnt cash. I finished 6 off the money and Andy finished 5 off. Even a min cash was $1400. The standard in this comp was awful considering the buy-in. I lost a monster pot with AK vs KJs after he raised under the gun and I shoved from sb. He should never call there but Im glad he does as Im huge favourite. Then manage to stay alive by stealing alot when the ante's came in. Then with 11big blinds its folded to me in sb, and I shove J5s, get snapped called by......... Q5. I mean wtf. Obviously my shoving range is pretty wide its still pretty awful. He only had about 16BB's as well. Obv I lose and bye bye £300.
Anyways also lost $50 playing HU vs a fish so roll was now back down to $1490. This really really tilted me, like so much. A massive part of poker is psychological and having $1k less in my roll than I did at some point the day before bothered me alot. Even though when I take a step back, I still made around $600 (inc rakeback) in a week, which is a decent wage in the real world (esp as its tax free :-). The thing is even if I have a good week this week and make say $900, Im still not where I was.
So Im going to start my challenge again. Well kinda. Im gona take out $490 and leave just $1k. Although my aim is now 4.5k. I know most people wont be able to understand this and think Im a bit retarded as it doesnt actually change how much Iv won or lost, but its purely psychological. Its like a fresh start and makes it easier to forget about past losses. Now when my roll hits 2.5k Ill be happy and pleased with myself, as opposed to thinking negative thoughts.
Enough about poker. Going to see jamie t in birmingham in october. Not really my sort of music but apparently he's good live. Im going with Vikki, Gary and Claire and meeting up with badger and his new gf (Sarah?). Even if the gigs shit, it'l be an awesome night out. Going upto Lincoln where badger lives for a night out the day before as well so looking forward to it. I also think its good to have things planned, so you have something to look forward to. Even if its something little.
Iv made a deal with Vikki. If I achieve my challenge, then we're going to Thailand for a month early next year. Gives me some extra motivation. I had a quick look at flights and you can get them for £350 return!!! When I went before they were over £700.
Love you all
Despite getting an early chip lead I didnt cash. I finished 6 off the money and Andy finished 5 off. Even a min cash was $1400. The standard in this comp was awful considering the buy-in. I lost a monster pot with AK vs KJs after he raised under the gun and I shoved from sb. He should never call there but Im glad he does as Im huge favourite. Then manage to stay alive by stealing alot when the ante's came in. Then with 11big blinds its folded to me in sb, and I shove J5s, get snapped called by......... Q5. I mean wtf. Obviously my shoving range is pretty wide its still pretty awful. He only had about 16BB's as well. Obv I lose and bye bye £300.
Anyways also lost $50 playing HU vs a fish so roll was now back down to $1490. This really really tilted me, like so much. A massive part of poker is psychological and having $1k less in my roll than I did at some point the day before bothered me alot. Even though when I take a step back, I still made around $600 (inc rakeback) in a week, which is a decent wage in the real world (esp as its tax free :-). The thing is even if I have a good week this week and make say $900, Im still not where I was.
So Im going to start my challenge again. Well kinda. Im gona take out $490 and leave just $1k. Although my aim is now 4.5k. I know most people wont be able to understand this and think Im a bit retarded as it doesnt actually change how much Iv won or lost, but its purely psychological. Its like a fresh start and makes it easier to forget about past losses. Now when my roll hits 2.5k Ill be happy and pleased with myself, as opposed to thinking negative thoughts.
Enough about poker. Going to see jamie t in birmingham in october. Not really my sort of music but apparently he's good live. Im going with Vikki, Gary and Claire and meeting up with badger and his new gf (Sarah?). Even if the gigs shit, it'l be an awesome night out. Going upto Lincoln where badger lives for a night out the day before as well so looking forward to it. I also think its good to have things planned, so you have something to look forward to. Even if its something little.
Iv made a deal with Vikki. If I achieve my challenge, then we're going to Thailand for a month early next year. Gives me some extra motivation. I had a quick look at flights and you can get them for £350 return!!! When I went before they were over £700.
Love you all
Thursday, 20 August 2009
How do i get most value?
First of all my challenge has been going ok in financial terms although I havnt played as much as I would have liked so far. I felt really crappy for a couple of days so decided not to play, except for a small session wednesday where I played just under an hour. One of the reasons I set myself this challenge was to motivate me into putting in more hours. Yesterday me and andy went and played down gunwharf where I had a decent session.
Here's a breakdown of the last few days
Tuesday: 0
Wednesday: $150 1hr
Thursday: $560 4hrs
Bankroll now $1710, so not a bad start. I need to be averaging nearly $700 a week so im happy to achieve that in just 3days.
Gona play a bit now then going to Southampton with Vikki. Will defo be grinding it out 2nite though. Would like to build my roll upto $2500 so maybe 2moro I can take some shots at 2/4. A bit adventurous I guess, but totally doable.
Here's a hand I played yesterday that Im not sure which is the best line to take on the river.
2. Bet big ($90-$120)
3. Check raise
4. Shove
1. This guarantees a call from 2 pair type hand. Possibly even K10 if he convinces himself that I missed my flush draw. If he had a flush draw then he'll just fold
2. I dont like this sizeing. If he's gona call this much, he'll probably call a shove.
3. I quite like this move. He's should be value betting any 2 pair plus it allows him to bluff if he missed his flush. Only problem is if he bet like $60, he MIGHT be able to find a fold with 2 pair when I shove. Even though he'll be getting great odds, my hand looks super strong. If he bets $80+ then he probably doesnt fold.
4. I find when you overshove, people either take it as mega strong, or complete bluff. But i dont know if he can fold 2 pair.
Any advice?
Gl
Jamie
Here's a breakdown of the last few days
Tuesday: 0
Wednesday: $150 1hr
Thursday: $560 4hrs
Bankroll now $1710, so not a bad start. I need to be averaging nearly $700 a week so im happy to achieve that in just 3days.
Gona play a bit now then going to Southampton with Vikki. Will defo be grinding it out 2nite though. Would like to build my roll upto $2500 so maybe 2moro I can take some shots at 2/4. A bit adventurous I guess, but totally doable.
Here's a hand I played yesterday that Im not sure which is the best line to take on the river.
I raise from the Cut-off with JJ, button calls and blinds fold.
Flop Qd J 2d. I bet $14 he calls. Turn K. I bet $36 he calls. River 3.
The pots $117 and we both have $160 left behind.
Once he calls the turn I think his range is; KQ,KJ,K10,QJ,AQ or a Flush draw (which missed). So how do i get the most value? Here's my options.
1. Bet smallish ($60-$90)2. Bet big ($90-$120)
3. Check raise
4. Shove
1. This guarantees a call from 2 pair type hand. Possibly even K10 if he convinces himself that I missed my flush draw. If he had a flush draw then he'll just fold
2. I dont like this sizeing. If he's gona call this much, he'll probably call a shove.
3. I quite like this move. He's should be value betting any 2 pair plus it allows him to bluff if he missed his flush. Only problem is if he bet like $60, he MIGHT be able to find a fold with 2 pair when I shove. Even though he'll be getting great odds, my hand looks super strong. If he bets $80+ then he probably doesnt fold.
4. I find when you overshove, people either take it as mega strong, or complete bluff. But i dont know if he can fold 2 pair.
Any advice?
Gl
Jamie
Monday, 17 August 2009
Bankroll Challenge
After my bad night on friday I decided to have a few days off. My head just wasnt in the right place and playing would have been -ev. I missed out on the weekend value but playing when your not in the right frame of mind is a recipe for disaster.
Iv decided to set myself a little challenge. Iv taken out some money on PKR leaving just 1k in there. Im going to try and turn that into 5k by end of September, given me 6 weeks. I think having something to work towards is always good inspiration. Ill be giving regular updates here if your interested on how im doing.
Im setting a couple of stipulations to the challenge.
1. Play at least 25hrs a week.
2. Only play 2/4 when I have $2500 and games are good or when i get over 4k ill just play 2/4
3. If I drop below $800, re-deposit to 1k and start again.
Wish me luck
Iv decided to set myself a little challenge. Iv taken out some money on PKR leaving just 1k in there. Im going to try and turn that into 5k by end of September, given me 6 weeks. I think having something to work towards is always good inspiration. Ill be giving regular updates here if your interested on how im doing.
Im setting a couple of stipulations to the challenge.
1. Play at least 25hrs a week.
2. Only play 2/4 when I have $2500 and games are good or when i get over 4k ill just play 2/4
3. If I drop below $800, re-deposit to 1k and start again.
Wish me luck
Friday, 14 August 2009
Bad day
I decided to play some 2/4 2nite. Friday nights are always great value. Big mistake. Run so fucking bad.
AK v KK all in pre flop
AQss v QJ all in on turn on Q 10s 5s 2.... River J (nice too lose $800 pot as a 95% fav)
QQ v 1010 all in pre
99 v 68 on 9 7 5.
All in all lost about 1.4k despite playing pretty good. Back to 1/2 for me
AK v KK all in pre flop
AQss v QJ all in on turn on Q 10s 5s 2.... River J (nice too lose $800 pot as a 95% fav)
QQ v 1010 all in pre
99 v 68 on 9 7 5.
All in all lost about 1.4k despite playing pretty good. Back to 1/2 for me
Thursday, 13 August 2009
AAAARRGGHH !!!!!!
Im playing 2/4, open from early position with A10ss. The button 3bets me. The two blinds call as do I.
Flop 10d 9d 8s. It gets checked around.
Turn 10c. Checked to me I bet $145 into $192. Button calls as does BB.
River Ad. BINGO! BB insta shoves his last $100ish.
I decide to wait b4 shoving to induce the button (who has about $200 left) to call. Whilst waiting Im looking at the lobby trying to get on some waiting lists. Then my time bank starts ticking meaning I have to act v soon. But on PKR you have to close the lobby b4 you can make a decision. So I click hide lobby....... Nothing. Click again..... Nothing. Tick Tick Tick, and Iv timed out meaning my hand get folded. The button snap calls with AJ. BB had KQdd.
The pot was $930 and should be mine !!!!
Aside from that poker going ok. Didnt play at the wkend cos was at my cousins wedding (which was awesome btw). Only played for bout half hour on monday and made $250. I love the mini-session wins. Went down gunwharf tuesday and lost $150. Then made just under $600 yesterday (should have been more lol!!)
I keep thinking bout that hand, AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flop 10d 9d 8s. It gets checked around.
Turn 10c. Checked to me I bet $145 into $192. Button calls as does BB.
River Ad. BINGO! BB insta shoves his last $100ish.
I decide to wait b4 shoving to induce the button (who has about $200 left) to call. Whilst waiting Im looking at the lobby trying to get on some waiting lists. Then my time bank starts ticking meaning I have to act v soon. But on PKR you have to close the lobby b4 you can make a decision. So I click hide lobby....... Nothing. Click again..... Nothing. Tick Tick Tick, and Iv timed out meaning my hand get folded. The button snap calls with AJ. BB had KQdd.
The pot was $930 and should be mine !!!!
Aside from that poker going ok. Didnt play at the wkend cos was at my cousins wedding (which was awesome btw). Only played for bout half hour on monday and made $250. I love the mini-session wins. Went down gunwharf tuesday and lost $150. Then made just under $600 yesterday (should have been more lol!!)
I keep thinking bout that hand, AAAAAAAARRRGGGHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, 11 August 2009
Ignorance
The following blog is a rant about peoples ignorance towards poker.
I tend to categorize people's response about what I do for a living into 3 categories.
1. People who play poker and are intelligent to know that money can be made from it (serious money if your good enough)
2. People who know nothing about it but are open-minded enough to respect my decision
and the worst of them all
3. People who know nothing and are just ignorant towards it
So here's the thing. I understand that pokers a unique way to make a living. The majority of people know shit about poker. Most that do know something about it often only play at the occasional home game. And yet when I politely answer their question about what I do, people want to start giving me advice such as;
'You need to get yourself a real job'
'You'll lose it all eventually'
'I know someone who lost everything gambling online'
What's worse is that people who know me, know that Im a reasonably intelligent and capable person. And then they ask how much I make (none of your fucking business), and I tell them an average figure (because the nature of poker is of such variance) and they say 'but how much have u lost' !!! How fucking dumb. That figure Iv just said is my profit you moron!!!
So at this stage they know how much I earn (although Im sure most people dont believe me), yet they're still hellbent on giving me life advice.
Then there's the questions. I must have answered the same questions a million times. Dont get me wrong. I dont have a problem with people taking a genuine interest. I completely get that earning a living from poker is very intriguing to some people. But please dont pass judgement on something you know nothing about.
/End rant
For those who want to know the outcome of the hand in my last post. He had K3 and held :(
I tend to categorize people's response about what I do for a living into 3 categories.
1. People who play poker and are intelligent to know that money can be made from it (serious money if your good enough)
2. People who know nothing about it but are open-minded enough to respect my decision
and the worst of them all
3. People who know nothing and are just ignorant towards it
So here's the thing. I understand that pokers a unique way to make a living. The majority of people know shit about poker. Most that do know something about it often only play at the occasional home game. And yet when I politely answer their question about what I do, people want to start giving me advice such as;
'You need to get yourself a real job'
'You'll lose it all eventually'
'I know someone who lost everything gambling online'
What's worse is that people who know me, know that Im a reasonably intelligent and capable person. And then they ask how much I make (none of your fucking business), and I tell them an average figure (because the nature of poker is of such variance) and they say 'but how much have u lost' !!! How fucking dumb. That figure Iv just said is my profit you moron!!!
So at this stage they know how much I earn (although Im sure most people dont believe me), yet they're still hellbent on giving me life advice.
Then there's the questions. I must have answered the same questions a million times. Dont get me wrong. I dont have a problem with people taking a genuine interest. I completely get that earning a living from poker is very intriguing to some people. But please dont pass judgement on something you know nothing about.
/End rant
For those who want to know the outcome of the hand in my last post. He had K3 and held :(
Sunday, 9 August 2009
Meta game
I want to talk about a hand I played recently which I think is quite interesting from a meta game point of view (probably not to a non poker player). I was playing at a 2/4 table as there was 2 fish in the game both on my right. Id played maybe 40-50 hands and hadnt won a pot and was probably $100-150 down. Id been getting run over a little bit up 2 this point. All pretty standard stuff imo. Id been iso-raising (not necessarily weak) the 2 fish regularly only to be called and then having my cbet floated or min raised. Or being min-raise pre-flop, having to call obv and then having to give up post flop. Also zomgchipriffle who's a decent player had 3bet my iso-raise 2 or 3 times. I suspect he was doing this with a wide range as he knows Im iso-raising a wide range.
So the following situation came up. We start the hand with effective stakes of $400 (100bb's).
Its folded around to a fish on the button who limps. SB completes and I make it $20 from the BB with KJhh, and the button calls. Flop 6 4 3 with 2 hearts. I lead for $32 and the fish shoves.
Now in a vacuum I think this is a fold, although having pokerstoved his range it's closer than I thought in real time.. His range here is pretty wide and therefore hard to get an exact figure from pokerstove but I worked out I had about 39% equity (feel free to give me your opinion, I could be way off). So I have to call $348 to win $474. This works out about 1.36/1 or more importantly means I need 42% equity to call profitably.
I only have 39% so I should fold right? Well yes in a vacuum. However my table image was pretty bad and folding again here would kill it completely. I felt by calling, regardless of the outcome Id get a little more respect and be able to carry on playing pots with marginal hands in position against the fish. So I give up 3% equity in a $800 ($24) pot for a better table image.
A couple of other things to think about are
So the following situation came up. We start the hand with effective stakes of $400 (100bb's).
Its folded around to a fish on the button who limps. SB completes and I make it $20 from the BB with KJhh, and the button calls. Flop 6 4 3 with 2 hearts. I lead for $32 and the fish shoves.
Now in a vacuum I think this is a fold, although having pokerstoved his range it's closer than I thought in real time.. His range here is pretty wide and therefore hard to get an exact figure from pokerstove but I worked out I had about 39% equity (feel free to give me your opinion, I could be way off). So I have to call $348 to win $474. This works out about 1.36/1 or more importantly means I need 42% equity to call profitably.
I only have 39% so I should fold right? Well yes in a vacuum. However my table image was pretty bad and folding again here would kill it completely. I felt by calling, regardless of the outcome Id get a little more respect and be able to carry on playing pots with marginal hands in position against the fish. So I give up 3% equity in a $800 ($24) pot for a better table image.
A couple of other things to think about are
- If I win the pot the fish may re-load and be tilting
- I gain some information as to how he plays
- If I lose I have a crazy fish with 200BB's on my right
- If I lose I may tilt slightly
Any thoughts or comments on this hand would be much appreciated. Plus my maths may be a bit off so feel free to correct me.
Friday, 7 August 2009
bulletproofJ
I thought it was about time I started a blog as everyone else in the poker world seems to be doing it. The reason behind the title is because I have such a great life and sometimes forget it so it's there to remind me. Most of the stuff in my blog will just be poker stuff so if that doesnt interest you then i wouldnt bother reading it.
So poker. Iv been playing poker for about 3 yrs and professionally since March 2008. I love the freedom that it offers me. I can wake up whenever i want, go out when i want and pretty much travel and live wherever i want (providing there's an internet connection :)). I mainly play online but sometimes play tournaments at grosvenor casino in gunwharf, but playing live just bore's the crap out of me. I think I might only play live from now on if it's a biggish comp (which for me is £100 buy-in or more). I play on a poker site called PKR and my screename is bulletproofJ (come sit at my table :-) I class myself as a 1/2 player but will sometimes play 2/4 when Im feeling good and the games are decent. Even though i think id be a winner in the 2/4 games I dont have the bankroll for it at the moment and Iv made similar mistakes in the past with disastrous consequences.
I also work 8hrs a week in my local pub. The reason for this is because if one day I dont want to play it anymore (or poker's not working out for me) then when it comes to getting a job, it doesnt show up that iv done nothing for the past few years. The only problem with this is I work 2 evenings a week and thats the best time to play online, so Im kinda losing money by working. But at the same time its not a bad job and most of the ppl there are cool.
Poker's been going pretty well for me the last couple of weeks. Im up around 3.1k since last monday (thats US Dollars). I really feel my game has improved recently and Im seeing spots that I never used to. A good friend of mine Andy (kingand77) also plays for a living and Iv been playing poker with him a bit recently which is good for my game. He's a much better player than me (arse lick lol) and watching him play makes me think about the game differently. We often take our laptops and sit in bar38 in gunwharf and play and the other day he played for me whilst I went to the toilet and when I came bak he'd won me over $200.... thanx mate :)
Ok im off the put in some hrs. Think Im going to a comedy night @ the wedge 2nite with Vikki my awesome gf, and some friends, so should be good :)
So poker. Iv been playing poker for about 3 yrs and professionally since March 2008. I love the freedom that it offers me. I can wake up whenever i want, go out when i want and pretty much travel and live wherever i want (providing there's an internet connection :)). I mainly play online but sometimes play tournaments at grosvenor casino in gunwharf, but playing live just bore's the crap out of me. I think I might only play live from now on if it's a biggish comp (which for me is £100 buy-in or more). I play on a poker site called PKR and my screename is bulletproofJ (come sit at my table :-) I class myself as a 1/2 player but will sometimes play 2/4 when Im feeling good and the games are decent. Even though i think id be a winner in the 2/4 games I dont have the bankroll for it at the moment and Iv made similar mistakes in the past with disastrous consequences.
I also work 8hrs a week in my local pub. The reason for this is because if one day I dont want to play it anymore (or poker's not working out for me) then when it comes to getting a job, it doesnt show up that iv done nothing for the past few years. The only problem with this is I work 2 evenings a week and thats the best time to play online, so Im kinda losing money by working. But at the same time its not a bad job and most of the ppl there are cool.
Poker's been going pretty well for me the last couple of weeks. Im up around 3.1k since last monday (thats US Dollars). I really feel my game has improved recently and Im seeing spots that I never used to. A good friend of mine Andy (kingand77) also plays for a living and Iv been playing poker with him a bit recently which is good for my game. He's a much better player than me (arse lick lol) and watching him play makes me think about the game differently. We often take our laptops and sit in bar38 in gunwharf and play and the other day he played for me whilst I went to the toilet and when I came bak he'd won me over $200.... thanx mate :)
Ok im off the put in some hrs. Think Im going to a comedy night @ the wedge 2nite with Vikki my awesome gf, and some friends, so should be good :)
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